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The restaurant wasn't too busy on a Sunday at noontime. They found ten seats for our group within a couple minutes. The waitress handed menus to everyone."Order whatever you want, Kyle," Mr. Sauder said. "This meal is my treat." I can't," I replied. "I'm a member of the football team and ... Well, I was a member of the team ... I don't know what the rules are when you're suspended." Finally I said, "Maybe I better pay my own way so I'm safe. I don't want to be accused of accepting illegal gratuities from a fan." Whatever you want, Kyle," Mr. Sauder said."Exactly what happened after you dropped the boys off at their hotel?" Mr. Stevens."Bob, you are being too direct," Mrs. Stevens said. "I'm sorry for my husband, Kyle." No, it's all right," I replied. "The whole world will hear about this tomorrow when it hits the press." I went on to relate the whole story, pausing when the waitress stopped by to get our orders.Dave Mitchell was first to speak when I finished telling me story. "That. If'n her miniskirt had been a half-inch shorter or her heels had been a half-inch longer, he coulda told you whether she wuz a real red-head 'n' probly got hisself a spankin'. She bent over so that he could watch them melons a bouncin' around in that there top 'n' put one hand on each o' his heads, givin' th' little'n a squeeze. She smiled real big 'n' said, "Y'all gimme twenty dollars, 'n' I'll do a lap dance."Well, that sure 'nuff got ole cmsix's attention. He went 'n' borrowed a dollar each from th' twenty guys what wuz listenin' to him 'n' give it to th' fancy woman. That smile o' her'n got bigger'n his tallywhacker as she bent over agin, pulled th' top o' that tube top open, 'n' tucked th' money alongside some more a hidin' 'tween them cantaloupes. Then damned if she didn't turn, dance one lap around th' room, 'n' disappear out th' door. Don'tcha know everbody done went 'n' laughed like they wuz addled at th' look on cmsix's face 'n' allowed as to how that had t'be th' darndest.
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