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"Umm ... what did she have to say?" That she knew she was going to become a grandmother."Ned groaned."Why the hell did you tell her?" It's not easy to refuse someone who has their hand on your bollocks." What?" she closed in on him, swiftly undid his fly, put her hand in his trousers and grasped the aforementioned appendages."You mean like this?" Yes," said Ned, followed by, "Ow!" as Diana gave a little squeeze."You'll really have tears in your eyes if you don't hold still. Now," she mused, "under what circumstances would a mother have her son by the balls? Literally by the balls, hands on so to speak," she continued, massaging gently. "Oh my God," she yelped, "you've shagged your mother as well! You randy little bugger," and she started laughing.She hadn't recovered when Beatrice walked in."What's so funny?" She asked. "I'm certainly not laughing. I want a word with you Ned Kelly! What are you doing Di?" I've got him by the balls, and what's so funny," replied Diana, "is that Ned has. .. let me see ‘A blink! It comes and goes and you don’t know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.’‘Excellent!’ said the interviewer. ‘The blink of an eye, that’s a very popular cliché for speed.’ He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.‘Well, out at my dad’s ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there’s a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. ‘Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of’.The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. ‘It’s hard to beat the speed of light, ‘ he said.Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.Old Bubba replied, ‘After hearing the previous three answers, it’s obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.’‘WHAT!?’ said the interviewer, stunned by the response.‘Oh sure’, said BUBBA. ‘You see, the other.
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