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What you can do is cut out all fatty and spicy food. Get rid of alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, tea, and any other drugs. take walks every day, but make sure you don’t exercise too hard.”The man says, “Will that give me longer to live?”The doc replies, “No, but it’ll certainly seem longer.”“My missus dumped me ‘cos she says I’m too obsessed with football,” said the first fella.“How long have you been with her?” asked the second fella.“Six seasons.”A young Scotsman leaves home and moves to New York. After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. “Horrible,” he says. “They’re always yelling and screaming. I hate how they constantly pound on the walls and stomp the floors.”“How do you get by?” she asks.“I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes,” says the Scot.A man is on trial for cannibalism. He proclaims to the judge, “Well, your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man.”I rang work and said, “I can’t come in today, I have a wee. We quickly cleaned up, dried, and fell into bed."That was fun," I said."Yes. I am so glad we met. I wondered if there would be anyone here to fool around with." What do you mean?"A few of the guys in the projects where we lived used to fuck me a few times a week. Once in a while they let me fuck them, too. Once, Jorge, the oldest came without touching himself while I was fucking him." Wow!" I was getting hard again, and so was he."My turn. Roll over."I flipped over onto my stomach. "Raise your ass a bit," he said as he crawled behind me. I could feel hot breath, but what happened next got me rock hard. I felt his tongue on my butt hole, tentatively at first, then more aggressively. It was pure pleasure. Then he put his finger in. I let out a moan."Oh yes. Oh yes." Just wait."He continued like this for a few minutes, my prick drooling onto my bed."Get on your back again."I rolled over. He went to the duffel he'd brought and got out some Vaseline. I guess he planned this. He rubbed.
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