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”“I have $10 that says she has her eye on someone for when she moves here.”“You saw him at church this morning — Nikolas Dmitriyevich. He was sitting just behind you during Sunday School.”“Does he know?”“Not yet! But once she moves here in about six weeks, she and I will reset our relationship such that she can pursue him.”“That’ll be the world’s shortest pursuit! I can’t imagine any red-blooded guy resisting for even a microsecond!”“Robby or Lee?” I asked with a grin.“Any STRAIGHT red-blooded guy, you nut!”“I agree.”“As for tying up loose ends, I did walk into a situation with effectively zero information of any outside relationships. And clearly, if I was a jealous bitch, I wouldn’t have given you the ‘all clear’ for Sarah. Do what you feel you need to do, Mike. I have no claims at the moment.”“And you are absolutely, positively, no question, OK with that?”Lara smirked, “Just make sure you fuck her brains out and leave her begging for more; more she can NEVER have!”“Didn’t you just. ... keep your mouth shut.Fixing the dentsOne day a Stepford Wife entered an auto body shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.The Stepford Wives went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when The Stepford Wife from across the street walked over and asked what she was doing?After hearing the whole story the second Stepford Wife pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down!”The Church GossipMildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business.Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to.
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