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I got your pizza and there ain’t any toppings ... no nothin’ ... it’s like only just bread!” “Please give us your phone number and street address”. “Never mind ... I opened the box upside down!”My neighbour. She’s single. She’s shapely. She’s beautiful and she lives right across the street.I can see her place from my kitchen window. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on the door. I opened the door, she looked at me and said “I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and have sex tonight. Are you doing anything?” I quickly replied “Nope, I’m free!” “Great” she said. “Can you watch my dog?”I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife ... but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar and approaches the counter. The bartender immediately notices the underage weasel. “Sir, you look extremely. She seemed as turned on as I was though, and suggested that she could go on the pill, so this might be possible.Fast forward a few weeks and she asked me to stay over at hers to watch the k**s overnight so she could stay over at Nick’s house. It was going to be a Sunday night so the k**s would be up and out first thing in the morning.Without revealing exactly why, she told me to stay at hers after the k**s had left in the morning, and to just wait for her in bed (she let me stay in her (our old!) double bed, which always got me horny, imagining her being fucked by someone else in it. My mind did wonder as to her reasons, we’d not discussed the previous fantasy any more, but if I’m honest, I suspected she’d been planning something.I got the k**s sorted in the morning and shortly after, Kate text me to say she was on her way home and to make sure I was in bed. She also told me to go into her drawers and find a pair of panties, to cover my ‘tiny cock’ (her words).I did as I was told and.
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