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You were whimpering in your sleep, and I couldn't seem to wake you up by talking to you — I didn't yell because I thought I'd wake up Carol and Camille — so I got on top of you to shake you awake. Then your hands shot out and grabbed my throat, I freaked and slammed your ballsack with my knee, you let go and I scooted back away from you." Well thank God I didn't hurt you any worse than that," Harry groaned. "I don't ordinarily find myself thankful for getting a nutshot, but in this case I'll make an exception." Well, now that we're all awake, I'm going to go get your breakfast started," Carol said. "The two of you lay here and recover — Camille, well, you just stay there."Kelly snuggled up close to her husband's side and they lay there in silence for awhile."Do I want to know what you were dreaming?" she asked, finally breaking the silence as he stroked her shoulder.In that way dreams do, the details had already faded away."I don't remember, sweetheart, but I am so sorry I tried to. You may have heard about the Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home. The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.By Southern California standards, someone owning 100,000 rounds is considered “mentally unstable”.In Michigan, he’d be called “The last white guy still living in Detroit.”In Minnesota & Wisconsin, he’d be called “ALMOST ready for deer season”.In Arizona, he’d be called “An avid gun collector.”In Arkansas, he’d be called “A novice gun collector.”In Utah, he’d be called “Moderately well prepared,” but they’d probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food.In Kansas, he’d be “A guy down the road you would want to have for a friend.”In Montana, he’d be called “The neighborhood ‘go-to’ guy.”In Alabama, he’d be called “A likely gubernatorial candidate.”In Georgia, he’d be called “An eligible.
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