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The fact that Fred wanted me to look like that says a lot about him and, unfortunately, a lot about the way I was. “What I realized after I had destroyed our marriage is how much it – our marriage – really means to me. I also realized, with the help of my mother, that I would not probably succeed in repairing what I had done by simply trying to return things to the way they were. “I always wanted to be glamorous, but I never had the confidence or courage. I wanted you to look at me the way you look at a lot of other women. I remember how you looked at the girls in the little bikinis when we were in Corfu all those years ago. At first, I was hurt, but I realize that you were just being a man. But, I was too shy to change who I was. Fred knew that. He was a control freak, and he knew what buttons to push to make me do exactly what he wanted. “Now, I have to change: for you, for me and for us. We can’t just start over, we have to begin again.” I thought for a moment. Her last sentence. Kinda rubbing her hair. I asked her, “Don’t you think?” In a haze she said yea. Then I asked her, “What do you miss about your boyfriend now?” She was just thinking and was silent.At this point, I went to her (we both were in same bed. I just rolled to her) and kept my hand on her my side of her tummy and said, “Having love in life is very important. Right?” At this point my touch and my gaze in her eyes clearly made her realize what chance we both had there.Then I asked, “Can I ask you an honest question?” She just nodded her head and I slipped my hand into her t-shirt. Pressed her stomach a little smeary and asked: “Is this what you miss from your boyfriend?”She right away said, “I don’t think we need to do this.” I said, “Do not worry. To do or not to do. We will only know if we start,” and then I kissed her on lips. Smoochy heaven. Her lips were of god. She too started kissing.We kissed that way for a really long time. She was wearing a pink t-shirt and pink track. I was on top.
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