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And it needed to happen fast.When she put the proposal to me I just laughed. I told her: "That isthe single craziest thing I have heard in a lifetime." Look at yourself Eddie," she said. "You are not a big guy. Get rid ofthat thing you call a beard and tidy up that hair and would not lookhalf bad as a girl. In fact, with those cheekbones and big green eyes,you would make a better-looking girl than a guy."I had let myself go a little working from home and not mixing withanybody other than her. The truth was that I lost a lot of confidencein myself. The only thing that I was good at was the work, and I puteffort into that. I had lost weight, was pale from lack of sun, my hairwas long and I had not shaved in six months - not that much growth hadresulted."Let's try a makeover," she said excitedly. "If I can convince you thatyou could get away with it, then you have to consider it. And even ifyou slip up, we could say that you are a transwoman. I can't see PennyGarret firing. “You are addressing the Duchess of Burgundy, one of the oldest titles in Christendom; along with her sister, the Marquise de Flandres! Your very presence is an imposition on their privacy. You will either conduct your interviews in accordance with diplomatic principles, or you will leave!”“But I’m from NBC...”“And I, sir, am from the Czech Secret Police.“Last night our beloved president awarded decorations to all of these people, except to his lordship, Douglas, Earl of Whitfield. However, His Lordship was until recently a major in Her Majesty’s Special Air Service. They are better known by their initials, SAS. Perhaps you have heard of the unit? I am sure His Lordship is quite capable of taking care of himself. In addition, of course, we have Queen Karla of Bohemia.”Stiffening to perfect attention, he clicked his heels and said, “Had her ancestors behaved with even a small fraction of the humanity, patriotism, and pure courage of Her Majesty, she would be sitting on the throne here.
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