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Shedidn't want anyone to find out, so she hid the coping she did because ofthe hiding. She's been clean for over two decades now. Only bit herfingernails until there were almost no nails left. The pain numbed otherpain. Blood helped. It floods the negativity and pain out. For somemoments at least. She thought about it a lot. She thought about cuttingagain all the time and there were moments it was hard not doing it.In her mind, the fresh razor blade carved through her skin several times.Like a warm knife through butter. Blood drops formed and ran down thearm. Dropped to the floor, leaving red sprinkles on the white tiledbathroom floor. She would just sit there and watch the blood. Smearingthe blood along the wound. Satisfied. At least for a few moments. Thosewere the moments she stood in front of her cabinet. Watching therazorblades. Right next to the bandages, skin closure strips and sterilecompresses. For minutes. Sometimes longer. Ramona kept coming back aswell on those days.. It was winter so all the buttons were closed. She saw me once staring at her boobs over her shirt but didnt say anything, may be she thought I was not looking there. Then she asked me that she was feeling sleepy so please switch off the lights. She asked me to switch on zero watt lamp. I did that and she went to sleep. I was looking at her in the lamp light she was sleeping on her back and I turned my face so that I can see her boobs breathing. Oh god she was looking an angel lovely and juicy lips I was totally out of control and I was sleeping with a girl for the first time. We both were in the blankets. In the middle of the night I took my chance and slowly slid my hand towards her boobs I touched her left boob and felt 440 volt of electric current in me. The boob was so firm. She didnt say anything might be she was sleeping. I got some courage and press it slowly I was in heaven. Till 5 o clock in the morning I kept my hand there and enjoyed feeling her boob.Next day I was waiting.
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