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I could feel my arm around someone and it startled me. I turned on the lamp and saw that Pam was lying next to me. At least she had on a short nightie and panties while I always sleep naked. I gently shook her. She jumped and said, ‘Oh, you scared me.’ ‘Pam, what are you doing in bed with me?’ ‘You were having a really bad dream and kept yelling for Lydia. It went on for a while and I thought that maybe, if you could feel me next to you, that you’d think I was her and it’d calm you down. I’m sorry if I upset you.’ ‘You didn’t upset me. I just don’t want to take advantage of you. Did we….’ I struggled with the words but she helped. ‘Did we have sex? No. You were the perfect gentlemen with your arm around me. I felt very wanted and protected.’ ‘I’m so sorry this happened.’ ‘Don’t be. I’m not.’ She rolled onto her knees and sat cross-legged on the bed beside me. ‘Do you remember any details of your dream?’ I laid back and stared at the ceiling. ‘I dreamed that Lydia was here. But no, like an impulsive youth I had to throw caution to the wind. Sure I bellowed as I reached for the joint. A bunch of “all rights” came from the group which made me feel cool and inclusive. I took a long toke and held it in my lungs. I’ve smoked plenty of weed before and I have to say this was some primo grass! I passed the blunt back. My mind was beginning to float and I felt the stress of the day unwinding. I told them it was some pretty good shit and they all got a laugh out of it. It began to feel like the old days for me when I was part of that special group that would party and fuck into all hours of the night. “Here Ms M try this, it will really freak you out,” as I was handed an unlit stick. I fired it up and took a hit off it, then another and another. I had never had anything this potent before to my recollection. I actually felt like I was having an out of body experience. Two of my seniors had to hold me up to keep me from falling over. I’m sure I said something.
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