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I promised myself to come here later, maybe a few days later, andinvestigate that mysterious door.The rest of the day went as it was planned and like I had predicted it togo. I got a bouquet at the florist for Mom. On the way to my parents'home, I picked up my fianc?e Valery at USM.My Mom was unbearable as usual. She reminded me and Val that it was myfault she couldn't go to college. And that Dad because of me went toCommunity College instead of Uni. Well, that was a reason I years ago hadgone to Boston Uni instead of USM. Then I rented an apartment and didn'tlive at their place though there were still free rooms. The home actuallywas not of my parents' but my Grandfather's. He lived in a detached so-called mother-in-law house.My fault was that I was made at their Prom night. They didn't use a condomand I was found guilty. I was always found guilty during my childhood whenI was living with them. I never was good enough, there never was a word ofencouragement or praise for me. What was. " It was a tense conversation and Suzette still harbored animosity toward me. I couldn't blame her."I'm not ready to say I forgive you for how you did it," she told me. "But I can say thank you for what you did."I wasn't looking for praise or forgiveness, but I accepted it anyway."And I'm finally able to forgive you for deserting me when I needed you most," I told her. "I know you smoked up just before you got here. I found the shit in your car and you stunk. You had to know I'd notice or your parents would notice or the cops would notice. But you did it anyway. You wanted someone to know and to help you. I believe that and you can't convince me otherwise."It took a lot for me to accept your parents' support through mom's illness. And when I finally did, you pulled your stunt and any network of support I had counted on was gone — including the person I was counting on most: you."You had your own problems and you had to find a way out of them. I was mad at you for a while. Then I was.
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