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"I hope you are taking care of our Jeffrey," I asked. Ashley's face grew stern. She learned over the railing. She was smaller than I, shorter. "Look, let's get something straight here. He is MY Jeff, not OURS, and as far as my taking care of him, you have that all wrong, HE takes care of ME, which is more than I can say for you." I chuckled letting her anger bounce off me, but a part of me felt that blow."Nora, what have I done to you that would make you do these evil things to me?" he pleaded with me.I had refused to stop going on dates. He had asked me, no begged me to go to counseling with him, to try and right what he perceived as a marriage going wrong."Jeffrey, these aren't evil things I'm doing. They are perfectly normal. In nature the fittest male always takes the woman. You, my dear, I love you, but there are far fitter men out there which you just can't compete with."Jeffrey's mouth dropped. "What, what about our love? Surely that means something to you?"I just smiled,. So it was really disappointing to discover that it looked just like every other room in the school with its peeling grey/green institutional paintwork and grime smeared windows. It sucked. And the suckiest thing of all the suckiest things in that room was Ms Harridan, with her skanky cardigan, milk-curdling face, and her 'hamster cage after you haven't cleaned it out for two weeks' breath. So I was really pleased when Headmaster Crotchety invited me into his private office. Which was just as sucky as the other room but let's not go through all that again. But none of it was as sucky as Headmaster Crotchety who not only didn't offer me a seat but just went on and on about uniforms and standards and bitch-whores and nubile teen temptresses and enlarged members and Mr Carpenter wanking in the staff loos as if I hadn't had to stand and listen to Miss Crossface say exactly the same things. Rather than listening, I was busy trying to push the remote control, vibrating, princess plug out of.
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