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. we just flat out tell’ em they’re gonna die... Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin.The doctor said “Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint, and a shovel.”“And what do I do with these, doc?”The doctor replied “Before the wedding night, you paint one of your testicles red and the other one blue. That night if she says ‘That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever saw’ you hit her with the shovel.”Steve went to the urologist complaining of discharge dripping from his penis, the doctor took one look and told him he had V.D.“No way” said the shocked Steve, blushing terribly. “It must be a cold.”“Call it what you like, Steven” said the doctor “but, until it sneezes, we’ll have to treat it for V.D.”A man was complaining to a friend “I had it all - money, a magnificent house, a fast car, the love of a beautiful woman ... then, poof! It was all gone!”“What happened?” asked the. "No sorry!"he spoke in his light Russian accent with a warm chuckle,"Please, stay. Sit down and have drink with us."He invited me.There was just one other guy in the garden. He was very scruffy looking, he had a baseball cap on his head and unkempt light fuzz of a mottled brown and grey 10 o'clock beard, though I couldn't really talk about looking scruffy seeing as I looked quite a mess myself in my casual clothes and bedhead hair, and no makeup."Thanks, but I really ought to get back."I politely declined."But we haven't properly met! Please, what's one drink between new neighbours?"He insisted with a drunk grin."Well... Go on then!"I grinned playfully back at him.He reached into an ice cooler by the foot of the lawn chair he had been sat on before, and threw me a cold beer can from it. I popped the lid, and began to sip it's frothy ice cold malty bittersweet nectar.I then pulled up a plastic garden chair and sat down on it to chat with him. The other guy didn't say anything, and when.
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