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And God drank the beer and it was good.And the Lord God grimaced and an enchanted gust of wind blew forth from him. And the Fart blew the waters of the earth together unto one place, leaving dry land for God to rest his beer on. (Incidentally, a less well known consequence of this holy hurricane was that it caused Lucifer, God's favorite angel, to quit his post as God's errand boy, and flee as far from Heaven as possible.)And God said, Let the Earth bring forth trees bearing fruit, plants bearing pollen, and other green life. And the Lord God sneezed and saw that, hayfever excluded, it was pretty damn good for a first try. And God said, in a hoarse beer-befuddled slur, the trees and plants are catchy, but they are not quite enough. I'll make some animals; some who can eat the plants, and others who can eat the first group, and all can urinate on the trees and plants. And he saw that it was all rather asinine, but who cares? After all, he was God, wasn't he? What is omnipotence good. Suddenly Bruce stopped and said he had to tell me something. He then told me that he had been teased a lot because of his appearance. He had for a long time thought of himself as some kind of a freak. He had never had a real girlfriend and only once a friend of his sister’s, not the one that was here now, had almost allowed him to fuck her but had at the last minute run screaming from the room. He had never since come near to fucking a girl. He said he did not want to embarrass me but he wanted to know before he got his hopes up if I intended to fuck him. I thought to myself that this was so like Bruce to not want to make anyone, even himself, uncomfortable. I knew that if I said no, he would accept it. I also knew that if I said yes I would give him a memory that might change his life. I said, “Bruce, what I intend to do with you, I would prefer to do in private. Do you have a room where we can go right now?”He turned even redder than usual. He was so short of breath, he.
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