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The grief was gone, the sense of loss was gone… it had all been a nightmare! I had never experienced such a vivid, detailed, drawn out dream. It was the most bizarre thing. But none of that mattered... I was just so happy that Tommy was still with me. I thought about telling him about my dream, but I didn’t want my son to think I was crazy. I was just happy to hear the sound of his voice, and look into his eyes… but in those eyes I saw tears. “What's wrong honey,” I asked as I propped myself up on my elbow.“Mom, I just got a little scared, and I really missed you, and I wanted to come see you,” he said as his voice cracked a bit. Then he said, “I know I’m too old to be doing this, but can I lay down with you?”“What scared you honey,” I asked as I started to slide over to make room for him.“I don’t know mom,” he quietly replied, “I just really missed you and I’m just really scared.”It seemed odd that he kept saying he was scared because he missed me, but the reason didn’t matter… all. I gazed into his eyes as his kisses found their way into my own mouth. No words can describe his sparkling blue sapphire eyes set in his gorgeous white fur. Three weeks of dull meetings and fluffed corporate b.s ... in agonizing absence of Samuel's love.Numerous times, Samuel has left the Smittes for days at my place, until they called and unable to come up with a good excuse, I grudgingly return him. They are a sweet couple, but quietly I hope Samuel outlives them; I long for his living with me.In frustration, I bought four dogs of my own - including two white shepherds with blue eyes similar to Samuel ... but it did not take long for me to realize my folly. They are all sweet, all love me, but none of them are Samuel.I curl an arm behind Samuel's head, holding him and closing my eyes as his kisses tickle my tonsils. With my eyes still closed, my other arm guides my hand along his spine, relishing the feel of his coat.I knew Samuel from a puppy ... his mother was under my care,.
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