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"But your Mom is right. Stay away from him. A beautiful young woman like you..."And Valerie was beautiful, with her dark Latin look and long black hair. "God! I almost forgot!" Valerie said. "I have an appointment with my new doctor tomorrow!" The gynecologist?" Martha said."Thanks Mom!" Valerie said.She wondered how she stayed with James for five years! His life was in the office, and she couldn't remember the last time they had made love. She began to think he had a mistress somewhere. And he had gotten so fat! Valerie was thinking there was no other way but divorce."Mrs. Bernard!" the doctor said as Valerie rose from her seat. "I tried to call you this morning, but your number had been disconnected!" I know, doctor," said Valerie. "I've disconnected it, and am staying with my parents. My husband and I are on a trial separation."Then she wondered: Did I have to tell him that? The doctor was much younger than she expected. "The reason I tried to reach you..." he said nervously, "was. So when she dumped him this year, here we were. Again. Single. Back to square fucking one. You know, when you make a clumsy, abortive pass at your best friend when you’re twenty, it’s charming, at twenty-five, amusing. At thirty-eight, it’s absurd. This brings us to New Years’ Eve, when I found myself being kissed and caressed on a soon-to-become twenty-minute trek to take out the trash. Fortunately, none of my other friends had the wherewithal to clean up, our absence went slightly, drunkenly noticed. After some animated snogging and furtive caresses, I asked him, casually, if he wanted to move the Aerobed (his usual sleepover spot) into my room. ‘There’s plenty of room…on the floor…’ Just steps away from my underutilized queen-size bed. ‘No, that would be weird.’ Weird? When was this not weird? We’re grown adults and at this point it would be weird not to seal the deal. Fine. I was stunned, disappointed and not a little bit horny. I hit the sack and had the good sense to contract.
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