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.The whole 'Lord and Master' role hadn't settled in with me yet, despite appearances. It was easy to be demanding and directive and capricious when I was angry -- but when that bled away, as it had during Vera's punishment session, my pluck seemed to go with it. Despite my anger, and despite my having marked her like a zebra with a riding crop, I loved Vera; Britney was a calculated risk, emotionally, for both -- or perhaps all three -- of us. Emotions got in the way of my ability to maintain an unbending mien; I wanted to give in, to compromise. I sat in a chair, shifting my regard from one to the other as they knelt before me and pondered what I could and could not do -- and the answers were different. Britney I could maintain my reserve with; I wasn't emotionally invested in her, although there were indications that I could be. Therefore, I could be firm ... I turned to Vera and felt the tug of familiar emotions...But that was wrong, wasn't it? Clearly, the pair of them needed to. You, by the way, have a beautiful alto voice." It's the Marlena Dietrich in me." I know who you are talking about!" Great! That's another piece of memory for you." Yes, thank you for an addition. However, you were going to tell me about Lisa, not past boy friends, or anything that isn't you." Okay, you don't give up."I've always been good academically and tall. Early on those two things together were devastating. A tall, skinny girl who has a reputation as a brain has no chance regarding social issues. I got through high school without a date but a straight 'A' average. I went to college and found that my love for literature could be my major. College was easy for me as far as grades. Socially, it was still bad. I came back here for graduate studies. At the same time, my body finally grew into my height. I became popular even with those who shunned me in high school. I found it ironic and not very pleasing."My master's was with honors. Next year, I will get my doctorate. I've never.
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