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‘I never thought of it that way. No, I don’t think of myself being lesbian. I just love Yan. I still have feelings for you. I still love you. And I’m still very much attracted to you.’ She reached down and put her hand on my cock. ‘I still love you and want your cock.’ ‘Okay, Donna, you’re freaking me out. You love Yan but still love me and you still want my cock?’ ‘Yes.’ She leaned over and kissed me. ‘I know, I don’t understand any of this either. I’m more confused than you are.’ ‘I don’t see how—’ ‘Yan,’ she took my hand pausing before continuing. ‘Yan said that she has always had feelings for you.’ What? Yan has feelings for me? Now, my brain was screaming. Did, Donna, my girlfriend, just say that Yan, my fantasy woman, has always had feelings for me? ‘Does she really have feelings for me? What do you mean feelings?’ ‘She confessed to me last night that she’s very much attracted to you and has fantasized about being with you not only sexually and romantically but also as a wife.’. But only cause I love him so much.’ ‘And you can’t ask Julian about it? Just ask him what he wants?’ ‘NO! Cause then he’ll know that Roger told Cindy, and Roger will know Cindy told me. It’s such a mess.’ I decided to tell the last part now that I was here. ‘And what if Julian is just waiting for the subject to come up? And he uses it to dump me? I love him so much!’ Now I was crying. Not too hard but actually crying over the phone to a stranger. ‘Yes, I see. That could be a problem. What else did Julian tell his friend?’ ‘Nothing. I mean nothing Cindy will tell me. But I can’t tell if she knows more or not. She’s so afraid Roger will find out.’ He waited a moment for me to stop sniffling and then shifted the subject. ‘Well, how long have you two been together?’ ‘About 6 months. He’s Roger’s best friend. I met Julian through them, through Cindy and Roger.’ He stayed quiet for a minute or so. He wasn’t biting on the Cindy connection, which seemed a little odd to me. He must have known.
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