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I felt so lonely in school today. I didn't tell everyone it was my birthday, but even when they did find out everyone except Big Bear and Annie A. just said happy birthday and that was it. Annie A. was really nice today. I don't know why; she's usually a bitch. Sometimes I have problems with Big Bear, however, he can realize every once in a while I need a kind word. Still at the ending of the first period I really wish I could have a hug from that one special person. *[full name was footnoted again]He got his hair cut, at first it was a shock, but it isn't bad. It looks better at the back. I want him, I love him, I long to be near him. This is more dangerous then wanting sex in general because it is more likely to happen. Day after my Birthday ---CI want him. I want him so bad. Why do I want him? I spent the evening socializing with other choir people. I thought of a new way to do what? I lost my train of thought. I was just thinking how I feel like that one Beatles song. [I. I shuddered and shook as I recovered, and Ronni covered me with kisses. She tried like hell to get me naked and into bed but I resisted. What had happened was unexpected and wonderful but I was uneasy… What was next? I’d fucked a number of guys before but this was uncharted waters for me. Ronni was disappointed that we didn’t go to bed, but she seemed to understand. She told me just to do what felt right, what felt natural, it would all work out. There’s no rulebook.We shared a long kiss at my front door and I felt her firm breasts pressing into mine, her hands squeezing my ass. As she was leaving, I knew we would be lovers. I just had to get used to the idea.About twenty minutes later I was getting ready for bed and the phone rang. It was Ronni and she asked me out on a date, dinner on Tuesday night. I accepted of course.On Tuesday she picked me up and we had dinner at a nice restaurant, with easy conversation about just about everything except what was happening between us, and some.
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