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Mother Genevieve allowed such asceticism not, calling it only self love in guise, and as ever she proved in the right. Lilac needed such guidance now, but could not face the abbess who had reared her as tenderly as any true mother. She felt confounded in a web of chaos and sin, one wrong besetting another upon her. Lust led to carnal actions, carnal actions showed she kept not to her duty as she had struggled to do since arriving, defying the order of the world yielded only despair, and pride kept her from penitence and its comfort. Just as well Lent would soon be upon the world, all her joy had vanished. She had thought herself lusting on Lord Reynard long, as it appeared now he did on her, and they seemed on the point of bedding each other and driving it from their minds anon when she realized her heart had betrayed her and she could not. She did wish him near her for the rest of her days. Lust would have burned itself out, she knew, and still would on his part. Mayhap before last. “I’ll see you at Thanksgiving, though if Jocelyn wants to see me, I’ll make sure I stop in.”“She might not?”“Her psychologist asked me to stay away while they work on getting her to want to live for herself, instead of just for me.”My dad shook his head, “That’s a heck of a burden, I imagine.”“It is.”“Mike, if you ever begin to feel that way, PLEASE come talk to us.”I nodded, “I will, Dad. I promise.”He nodded and turned back to his woodwork. I went upstairs to find Mom and Becky sitting in the living room, laughing.“I need to leave for church,” I announced.“We’ll see you when you come home again,” Mom said.She got up, we hugged, and she kissed me on the cheek. She left the room, leaving Becky and me alone.“Did your dad get on your case?”“It wasn’t about you, really. Don’t worry about it.”“I guess this is ‘goodbye’?” Becky said softly.I nodded and held out my arms. She melted into them and we held each other for a few minutes. We exchanged a single soft kiss, then let our arms fall.
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