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I let Simon book the coach tickets back to his place. Unlike most English towns, Weston (as the locals called it for short) had the advantage of an alternative to the overcrowded and unreliable National Express coach service, and Simon got us two seats on the Bakers express. No stops, under three hours, hostess service and clean, comfy seats, he said. We ducked out of classes early that Friday and went back to our places to pack. I put my glad rags and some cold clothes (English Autumns are not warm) in a bag, and dressed in a jacket, shirt, long skirt and stockings. Simon, all jeans and woollen jumper, met me at my flat and we took the tube together to Gloucester Road, where the coach park was. I was surprised at his being laid back about our timing, but he explained on the way. ‘Bakers always overbook, and more people turn up than they normally want. As they’re expanding, they’ve always got two coaches on this run, and the first one leaves a little early, when it fills up, and the. ..”Maid of honour, “Phoebe has always had a kind heart. Always willing to show pity to dumb animals... Father of the bride, “Phoebe has always been my perfect little princess. No father could ask for a better daughter. I couldn’t be prouder of how well she’s turned out. And I couldn’t be happier with her finding such a nice gentlemen either.”Then her in the back of the limo. Still in wedding dress. Darren beside her. ““My name IS Mrs Phoebe Burton, and I’m going to have sex with a dog - on my wedding day!”They arrive in Gateshead and park outside Pablo’s little terraced home, making a quick run from car to open front door in order that the neighbours don’t wonder why a bride and groom in full wedding gear have just arrived at close to midnight.In Pablo’s front room Phoebe is looking a little tired. It’s been a long day and she’s been drinking and dancing in addition to all the photos and the hair/make-up/dress. That’s not all... “We’ve been so horny on the way here. We stopped half.
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