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" Look, Mia, it's not as simple as me walking in and saying I live there now. You have a reputation to protect. You have neighbors you have to live with. It will cause problems with your parents. It will cause problems with my parents. Mia, you deserve better than me."There it was. What had been festering inside my brain, probably for years, when I think back on it, was that I had little worth as a person, and that Mia deserved somebody better than me. Maybe that's why I didn't keep writing to her, or go see her, or continue to fight for her. Maybe that's why I turned all my emotion to darker pursuits, and tried to punish everybody else.In any case, I didn't have time to think about it then, because without a word, she stood up, abandoning two perfectly good tacos, and stalked out of the restaurant. She got in her car and peeled rubber out of the parking lot.Just like that ... she was gone.I'm sure you've seen movies in which some character has it rough for a while and then grows a. I liked you hurting me, I guess.”She turned away from me, she seemed ashamed.“Ashley, look at me.”She slowly turned her head towards me, but only reluctantly met my gaze.“What you and I do is special. And it’s okay as long as both of us are okay. Are you okay with what we did? We can talk about it.”“I’m okay with it, I guess. But like, it just seems… weird, kinda-sorta.”Wow, she wants to be an English professor and she uses “kinda-sorta.” Oh well, there's still time.“Ash, what’s going on is what’s called a power exchange. It’s when the submissive chooses to give power to her dominant. It’s, it’s very heady stuff, honey. You are essentially surrendering to me.”She thought for a few moments.“Yeah. I didn’t know those words in that context, I guess, yeah. Like, that’s how I felt when you spanked me the other day, and just now. Like I surrendered or something.”“And how did that make you feel?”“It’s, um… difficult… I never felt like that before. I felt… free, I guess. Maybe that’s not the.
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