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I'm fairly sure I'd have been able to add something to thedebate given the opportunity, but no, she just went right ahead andchanged me. And the way she did it was so incredibly devious. Nowbefore I go any further, for anyone out there who happens to knowmy wife, let me give you a little advice. Never and I mean never,prefix a statement to her with I wish I could help. I warn you nowshe'll assume you're making an offer and she'll take you up on it. At least, that's what happened to me. There we were one winter'snight, cuddled together in front of a warm fire, when she made anoff hand remark about wondering what it would be like to have sexwith another woman. Now here's another piece of advice for all themarried men out there, never assume you know what your wife meanswhen she says something. For example, take our conversation thatnight, it went something like this; "I wonder what it would feellike to make love to another woman?" "Sorry love, I can't help you, you know I was a virgin. Just thinking about the monotony of work made me bored and horny. I needed a break. I needed something new to spice things up. My phone vibrated in the pocket of my pant suit, interrupting my thoughts. I pulled it out, wondering who it could be. People rarely texted me during work, and if it was a text, it was usually from some stupid horny guy that I matched with online months ago. I smiled at the phone’s screen. It was a message from Chris. His text simply read, ‘Beach is empty. Meet in an hour?’ I started to feel a flush creep into my cheeks. I’d met Chris a month ago at a cooking class that I’d taken on a whim. We’d been partnered together, and I couldn’t have been happier. That whole night it’d been hard to focus on the cooking with him standing right next to me. I’d been lucky though. Not only was he gorgeous, but he was smart too. He’d gracefully polish over my mistakes, cracking subtle jokes the whole time. The experience had revived my faith that not all men were disgusting.
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