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”He walked around the tractor to do something and it gave me a chance to feel my penis. It was weirdly alive like nerve endings had multiplied. I pulled on it a bit but stuff shot out giving me what seemed like a kind of seizure. That felt so good but made me light headed. How could I ignore a thing like that and how could I get used to it?I wanted to do it some more but he appeared again and started laughing. “You got a new toy mister. You ought to be really happy with that. I almost wish mine was as good.”It didn’t seem to bother him I was caught messing with my erection. Then he looked at his watch and exclaimed, “Oh shit, I didn’t realize the time. It’s time to eat. I’ll do this later,” and we got back in the truck to retrace the route by the barns and beyond to the farm house where I’d started my journey the night before.He said, “Eat” and that’s all I needed to hear as the growling in my stomach became distinctly focused. I hadn’t even given any thought about going somewhere. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used.
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