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He had taken recently to wearing the spurs even when he was not planning to ride anywhere because a pretty-faced settler’s wife had told him, “Those spurs are so sexy, Mister Chisholm, please don’t take them off when you make me take it. It like the way it makes me feel all excited and helpless in your arms.”It had inspired him to shove his business so far up the young woman’s privates that he was certain she would be sporting a round belly for the next nine months and convincing her husband that it was God’s will despite his lack of interest.The wagon had a pair of milk cows tethered to the rear platform and he suspected the family was planning to find a place for the night not inside the confines of the overloaded wagon. He knew it was unlikely because even the cowhands bedded down next to their horses in the stables behind the house of pleasure waiting for the first light of the new day after they had delivered the cream to some pretty senorita or some slant-eyed, pig-tailed. The damn fool says he can’t communicate with me.”*Love those Canadian East-coast-ers!!!President Donald Trump was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang. “Hallo, President Trump” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Archie, up ‘ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger’s Cove, Newfoundland. Canada, eh? I am callin’ to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, eh!”“Well Archie,” Donald replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”“Right now,” said Archie, after a moment’s calculation “there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!”Donald paused. “I must tell you Archie, that I have ONE MILLION men in my army waiting to move on my command.”Holy jeez,” said Archie. “I’ll have ta call ya back!”Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr. Trump, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”“And what equipment would.
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