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Hiccup couldn't turn around without Astrid barreling down on him, ripping his clothes off and doing every dirty thing under Sol's sun. She would show up at the forge and basically pounce him; or the one time in the mead hall while everyone was eating supper, she stealthily slipped under their bench and gave him the most amazing blow job ever. Hiccup couldn't understand why she was suddenly so... un Astrid like.He wasn't overly concerned, it was Dragon mating season which could effect humans, but it was taking up a lot of his time. He had been trying to find his best friend Toothless, who had disappeared, again after last wash day. The connection never dawned on him, until he awoke in the morning to find Astrid sobbing at the end of their bed. Astrid sobbing? Those two words are rarely ever used in the same sentence, Unless its 'Astrid kicked Snotlout in the balls so hard he kneeled over and cried.'So immediately Hiccup shot to the end of the bed and wrapped his arm around. Kathleen. Hell of a name. Hell of a woman.Memories. They fill out the nights and make the long days pass.Last week one of the young nurses took an interest in me. Must have liked the stories I told. Felt sorry for the old geezer, did she? She gave me some relief, a "bee-jay," she called it. Felt all right at first, but mostly it just tickled. I patted her on top of the head as she was working hard at it. Nice girl. Meant well. But I don't think I'll ask for an encore.I remember the first time I took a woman in the back passage. That has more class, somehow, than "fucked her in the ass," as the kids say nowadays. Nothing against realism and honesty in language, but somehow earthiness loses its bite if overdone. Try telling that to some of those hotshot millionaire writers, though.Anyhow, I had already been married and divorced. It was early in Ike's second term, as I recall, that I met Margaret, or Meg, as she insisted on being called. We were all over each other like minks in heat.
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