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I lifted the glass, put the edge to my lips and threw my head back so that the bottom of the glass pointed to the ceiling. About five, or maybe ten, seconds later I brought the empty glass down onto the bar. I gently pushed the glass in Nigel's direction and said, "Hit me again, would you?"Nigel looked at me wide-eyed. "Wow, what side of the bed did you get up on, anyway?" he asked as he poured me another glass."I don't know. Whichever side lead me to find out my roommate is dating my high-school sweetheart." I downed another glass. "Keep 'em coming, please."Nigel made a face and poured me another glass. "That's gotta bite. So were you planning on sticking around for the dance?"I looked up at him suddenly. "Dance?" I thought for a moment. "Oh yeah, now I remember." A quick look around the room and through the open door into the lobby indicated that there were quite a few more people down here than usual. I realized they were waiting for the doors to the ballroom to open and the. I just purchased a strap-on dildo and had it shipped to my house. The house where I lived with my wife! How would I explain this to her? As I began to calm down I realized this could be OK. I worked from home. I could easily grab the package as soon as it arrived and have it hidden before my wife got home from work. With that realization, I wiped the figurative sweat from my brow and went back to enjoying my Saturday. Unfortunately, panic set back in Monday morning as I logged into my work calendar to see what I had to work on for the week. The reminder popped up that I was traveling this week for work! From Wednesday through Friday, I would be in New York!The next two days I was a bundle of stress. Every car that passed by the house I hoped was the UPS man with my package. But Wednesday morning came, it was time to head for the airport, and no delivery had been made. My wife assumed the obvious nerves I was displaying were due to an anxious flyer. If she only knew. And she would.
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