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“Please fill in the blanks with either the German or English words that are missing,” she smiled, “you have ten minutes.”I managed to get eleven words out of the twenty before my memory gave in. I looked up to see how the girls were doing and realised they had learnt their vocabulary. I tried to conjure up the list in my mind and managed to add two more words.“Right, mark your name at the top and hand me your sheets.”A few minutes later Frau turned to the back wall, took down the tawse and laid it across her desk.“Well done, Marie; you scored twenty. Good effort, Lisa; you scored nineteen. I will let you off this once.”Frau looked directly at me, “Mike, you have demonstrated to me why you failed your mock exams. Unless you put some work in you will not succeed in passing your GCSEs in less than nine weeks.” She picked up the tawse. “Come out here!”I began to step out from my desk and saw both Marie and Lisa exchange looks.“Take off your clothes, Mike.”I knew it was pointless arguing. “The first thing we’re gonna do is get the Goddamned brakes fixed on our fire truck.THE IRATE CUSTOMERFor all of you out there who’ve had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. It’s a classic! In tribute to those ‘special’ customers we all love! An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.A crowded United flight was cancelled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”The agent replied, “I’m sorry sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.” The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, “Do you have any idea.
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