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As much as I hated it, today was errand day. Time to shop and pay the bills. I went into town and took care of the payments and then went to the grocery. As I was shopping, someone kept getting my attention but they always seemed to be just turning the corner when I looked. When I got to the next aisle they were already gone. This feeling followed me all day. Everywhere I went I felt like I was being watched. Rather unnerving. The grocery, post office, gas station, drug store, bank, the feeling never left me. On my way out of the bank, of course not paying allot of attention. I run smack into someone on the sidewalk. Knocking her to the ground, packages everywhere. I had knocked down a beautiful young woman. All I can do is stare at her until she says, 'Don't just stand there asshole.' Like a slap in the face, I jump at her words."I am so sorry, I didn't see you.... I wasn't watching...... are you all right?" I think I'll be ok, only bruised my pride." She gets up as I start to pick. A woman who needs to have a Master. I am totally thrown off guard by this. I ask him to explain further about this submissive nature he sees in me and the idea of a Master. Before explaining, he asked if I have ever been with a black man. I told him that I have always had this fantasy of being with a man like himself, but have never put myself in a position to fulfill that fantasy. I have always been afraid, yet drawn to black men. When I am close to them my insides turn upside down. I can’t breathe and my heart feels like it is going to explode. My body goes limp and I lose all sense of where I am. He asks if I would let him fulfill that fantasy. I hesitate and then I hear myself say “Yes”. Oh what have I done? I have never been unfaithful to my husband, but he has not even entered my thoughts since we left park. I have already been disloyal to him. We leave the café and begin walking back to the parking lot by the park. He asked if I would join him for the rest of.
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