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If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”― Mae WestMORE: The Beginner’s Guide to Kinky Sex4. “If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”― Frank Zappa5. “It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.”― Jarod Kintz, $3.336. “Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”― Woody Allen7. “Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”― Barbara Bush8. “I couldn’t possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar!”― Russell Brand9. “My first time I jacked off, I thought I’d invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.”― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke10. “But when a woman decides to sleep with a man, there is no wall she will not scale, no fortress she will not destroy, no moral consideration she will not ignore at its very root:. My arms flapped uselessly deep in the folds of the sleeping bag as Heather deprived me of air again. She stopped, lifting her breasts from me. I felt her sweatshirt slip down.“Have you ever done any ballroom dancing?” Heather asked.“What?”“Ever done any ballroom dancing?”I collected my thoughts. What was she getting at?“Er… Yes. At school. A long time ago. Why?”“Because the gentleman is supposed to lead his partner. The same applies to sex. You aren’t doing much leading and you aren’t doing much at all. So far I have done everything. I arranged tonight. I’ve been taking the lead ever since we met. How are you at eating women?”I thought I had better be honest.“I have never…”“Thought so, Derek. If you are going to be part of this relationship you should learn. Now. Get out of the sleeping bag and put your boots back on.”“OK.” I was puzzled. Willing but puzzled. I eased myself out from under Heather, put the torch on, found my boots and slid my feet into them.“What now, Heather?” I.
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