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Lucien is hunched over, cupping my face and pressing his lips again mine. So many thoughts are rushing through my head, and so much electricity rushing through my body. Is this right? He’s a teacher for Christ sake! Does that even matter though? I mean, you can be friends with anyone and have a relationship with anyone as long as it’s consensual and legal right? Wait, shouldn’t I be enjoying this? I mean it’s the only thing I ever fantasize about when I’m masturbating and when I’m with him. Yes I like this, I want to go so far with him and I want him to take my body over and set my heart free. Wait, am I kissing right? What if I’m not clean enough? Crap how long have I been just sitting here thinking?! Almost on cue, I feel him pull away and hear him fall back into his chair. Fuck! I didn’t react in time. I slowly open my eyes to see him holding his head and looking down and breathing heavily. And almost as if I’m a fly on the wall I see myself as stiff as a board with my arms at my. This fantasy of mine never came true. Slowly by slowly my dream started fading away and i came to realize I’m wasting my youth on the fantasies of just one girl. I opened my eyes and sometime later i asked another girl out and me and my friend kind of parted ways. She had her bf and i had my gf. Four years passed. We were still friends but that closeness was never there but i never forgot her. Every minute of every day i still hoped to get back with her. Finally college was over and we came to our farewell party, the night which i still remember clearly.We were having a party, dancing drinking, pigging out and having a gala time. I saw her dancing and she saw me and smiled. She was wearing a ravishing black shoulder-less dress which was a bit longer than her knee. A part of me died in me as i realized this might be the last time i see her. We can always meet after college, true, but who knows where our lives take us once we step out in the world. And i just thought, “beta abhi nai to.
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