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It always worked in the movies, so I slapped her. It worked. She was crying a bit, but she calmed down. I was feeling quite strong, much like I imagined a hunter would after the kill. And instead of trying to sooth her this time, I resorted to threats. I told her that if she ever told anyone about what had just happened, I’d hurt her bad. I threatened physical pain and told her how easy it would be to let everyone know how much of a slut she was and ruin her reputation. Then, without really thinking about what I was saying, I said, “Even if I just got you pregnant, you better not tell them my fucking name.” Well, I had to slap her again. I shouldn’t have said that, after all, I’d told her a fake name (I could be dumb sometimes, but I wasn’t stupid), so what the fuck did I care if she told. We moved a few weeks later, and several months later I heard that the girl I’d basically raped (and had the best orgasm of my life with) was pregnant. And for the first time, hearing. There was some murmuring and some other sounds, but I was having a hard time concentrating, so I said, "Fuck it", stumbled back to the couch and fell into it, fully intending to come up with really smart things to say and do about this whole mess. But then I fell asleep as suddenly as if I'd been knocked unconscious. I woke up in the middle of the night with a pounding headache. I made my way to the bathroom in the dark and found the aspirin I always carry and took about eleven of them. Just kidding. But my head really hurt. After relieving myself I headed back into the hallway and, though I saw the door was open to the bedroom and all was dark and quiet, I did not go in. I went back to the couch and slept like the dead. I woke later in the morning to the smell of coffee and got up to find my incredibly sexy wife wearing nothing but a robe. She was drinking coffee and reading a USA Today by the light streaming in through the window. We were alone. I'm sure I looked a mess. She came.
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