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" Ice "Aiight, I'll be right back downstairs so we can make history." He goes upstairs. 14 seconds later, "Yo, J.V. come here." I do, Ice "Whats all this talk of leaving me for him.?" You "I'm serious Ice, I'm leaving you for Al B. Sure, I want a divorce, I want half of everything, cars, stocks, all my purses/shoes, the beach houses, the extra recording studios, and this house." Ice "I dont believe this is happening, Alright, prove to me that you love him more then me." You "Aiiiiiiiiiight!i!i!i!" You come over to me, pull my pants down, drop to your knees, and begin to give me a forocious Tropical Ninjetta Berzerk Shlecky Shlurk Work Neck, shhlurppin' and glurppin' the pipe like a maniac, then say "Daddy get into it like yesterday, call me names! Awhll,§sShhlurp- pluhh-pop!" I Ahwhh, O.K., ~~woah- o.k. Suck, that dick you ignant scandlous white Ugly bitch!...." You "Sklurrrrrerp oh yes daddy!" Ice tries to rush for the gun, Colby Bell hurries out the bathroom, Sam Axe grabs Ice T and. Maybe the rental car you took back from that business trip. Maybe the kiosk you ordered your lunch from. Maybe your girlfriend's hairdryer.I know how insane this all has to sound. I know. I lived through all these levels of disbelief, and expressing them to my captors in real-time only got me in more trouble. That's why I'm trying to prepare you, no matter how stupid it sounds.Which is my way of warning you that it still gets worse.The advantages of a superintelligence are not only that they can out-think us and stay one step ahead of us--but also that they can develop systems and technologies that are literally beyond our comprehension. I'm running out of time here, so I'll try to make this quick: they've even devised a way to turn our own belongings against us. No--not just machines--even things without any electronics. Even things with simple mechanical parts. Even things without mechanical parts!For all I know, this shred of paper might be ready to hover off of my makeshift desk.
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