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After gathering her luggage, she makes her way out to the taxi stand waiting for Him, waiting for His driver to come take her to Him. Waiting I shift nervously, wondering what He has in store for her for the weekend. Wondering if it is going to be a weekend of extreme pleasure, or is it going to be a weekend of pain, or a weekend of pleasure and pain. my body shaking a little bit, shaking from the unease of not knowing what is going to happen to her this weekend.i notice a car pulling up in front of her, a man steps out motioning her to Him as He opens the door. i point to my self, me is it me He wants... He nods His head and I step closer to the car, He tells me to get into the car. Doing as I am told I step into the car, I sit there nervously, shifting in my seat, my mind racing. This is it no turning back now. The driver puts my luggage into the back of the car and gets in. He pulls away saying nothing to her, nothing at all. I say "hello Sir" almost in a whisper to Him. He nods. Any man who can't be the breadwinner is not a man; he's a loser - beneath contempt. Being a stock broker only made this worse. I was used to pushing around lots of money, of being in total control over people's lives. Now I'd lost control of my own. I could push anyone around: a multi-national company, a millionaire client, my wife. For weeks, I woke up every morning wishing I could just crawl into a hole and die. I really hated myself. Even though my wife Stephie tried to help, she only made my feelings worse. Every time I saw Stephie, I saw my failure reflected in her soft eyes. I wanted to run, to scream. . . to cry. I hadn't cried since I was a damn k**! Stephie tried to help, but her efforts only made things worse. The first week she left me to my shame. The second week she tried to cheer me up, but she just couldn't understand what I was going through. She'd say: "That's ok honey, I'll earn enough for both of us." "Just relax dear, I'll support us." and so on. She just couldn't.
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