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"Say Trapper, I didn't sell him any tickets, did you?"Trapper pretended to be indignant. "Who me? Think again Hawkeye, I wouldn't sell him dinner at the mess tent!"Hawkeye looked thoughtful and both of them shouted at once, "Radar!"Radar looked worried as both Captains stared at him in his office. Col. Blake was no help at all; he was in his tent taking his afternoon nap. Radar decided to come clean. After all, they are doctors and gentlemen. They will understand. "Erm... I had to do it, he is a Major. I really had no choice. You do understand that, don't cha?Hawkeye tried to explain to Radar. "Can you imagine if Frank Burns won the contest? He would either have us all arrested, or, God forbid, he would spend a fun-filled weekend with Klinger and the poor boy, Klinger I mean, would never be the same." Hold on Hawk, give Radar a break." Trapper moved closer to Hawkeye and whispered, "We are going to fix the contest, right?" Of course, Frank doesn't stand a chance of winning." Hawkeye. "A human gift, for her pleasure, as a token of my affection, and my favor." Who can you trust for such a mission, Mistress?" Why you, my favored little toy!"I am overwhelmed that Mistress will send me on such an important mission!"Thank you, Mistress!" I gasp."You will paddle a surf board with your arms, naked, unarmed, vulnerable, to her beach..."My Mistress begins to lubricate, and as I continue to lick, she talks, and I listen."You will say to her, 'I do not eat of the longpig. Do as you will with me.'"Then, you will submit to her, and follow all her orders, explicit or implicit, for the sake of love of me."You will be taunted, humiliated, sexually used roughly, sex-tortured, gang-raped, and finally, death-tortured, killed, and eaten!"My Mistress becomes excited with these ideas! I continue to lick, as I become excited, too, in harmony with her, my great love.Finally, with my last instructions for my terminal actions, Mistress sends me on her mission, away from her forever.After.
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