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His eyes stared of onto space; his hand reaching for mine.“Well Jake if I knew, I’d answer you. Now tell me your secrets!” I jumped up, aiming to kiss his lips but kissed his nose instead. “Oh your nose, so lovely it is,” I told him with the most devilish grin.“Jerjie, I’m being serious. We’ve been together for a while now…and I’m just curious on how you felt about me,” he seemed to be apprehensive with his words. His posture no longer the confident giant I’ve come to know. Jake seemed flushed. How do I tell him how I felt? Here I am with butterflies in my tummy, my hand being held by someone I trust and care for; life seemed perfect. In my mind I would play this part over and over again.If I could tell him how I really felt, I might as well explode. It was not just one emotion but a billion of them! All waiting to explode if I lit the wick. Those secret feelings I had for him would all burst as fireworks. I held his hand instead and gripped it tight. “Jake you know how I feel about. But one thing for sure. You did thoroughly love learning how to fuck girls in a very satisfying manner.[First ever learning what girls could do with me, the overwhelming experience of first time and so much work to take care of the milkers in the parlor]You had such curiosity about sex and the fact you were raised by three women of quite varying character was instrumental. But your training in strict parochial method drove you to fear girls yet you had true preoccupation with female form and sex. Perhaps that was intended to create the sex drive waiting to be brought to life in order to accomplish the need, our need to have you fill us with massive energy driven gizem.[In that regard I was a quick learner]Your mother, the person who gave birth to you was insane at an odd level. She was capable of love but endured with a sense of an undefinable hatred of both you and your eldest sister. Her overriding hatred for her first born, that sister, never diminished but her severe anger toward.
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