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Like any red blooded American boy I wanted to spread pollen, but Amy was adamant — no sex until married — and so I had to settle for Mrs. Rosy Palm and her five daughters. Necking with Amy was passionate and her kisses kept my car windows steamed up and we sat on the couch for hours and swapped tongues. All of that told me that Amy was going to be one hell of a wild woman when the time came.Six months after graduation Amy and I were married. My wedding night was a disappointment to me. Instead of the glorious sex that Amy's luscious body promised I got one piece of ass and a talk that I should have gotten from her before we got married. I was "allowed" the first act of intercourse because it was expected of Amy to consummate the marriage. As I attempted to go for the second time Amy pushed me away and said:"The marriage has been consummated George, put that thing away." But I'm ready to go again baby. Hell, I'm ready to go all night." What the hell is wrong with you George? I'm not. “I am; your problem is life, my friend.” I could hardly wait; unfortunately, he didn’t keep me in suspense long. “David, old boy, life is like this; you live, and then you die, and in between there’s sunshine and there’s shit – hopefully more of the former, and not too much of the latter. Your problem is that you have so fucking much sunshine in your life that it blinds you to the occasional pile of shit, so when you inevitably step in it you think your world is coming to an end!” He laughed at his own analogy. “You need to learn to just scrape it off – hell, change shoes if you need to – and move on! Move on, my friend; you rocked your wife’s world with a couple of violent orgasms, and she loves you more this morning than she did yesterday. We should all be so fucking tormented.” He was right – and I was astounded! It may have been the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard Charlie say – in his own inimitable way, of course. I was also struck by his unknowing allusion to the symmetry.
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