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Why?”“I think I need a mistress.”“Excuse me?” I said, astonished.“I think that’s what I need, a second girlfriend.”“You need another girlfriend?” We had met a pretty brunette after school holding his hand, but we doubted he had gotten anywhere past the hand-holding stage. Now he was looking for another?I looked over at Kelly who was just shaking her head. “He’s the reincarnation of your brother,” she muttered. To Seamus, she said, “And that’s not a good thing!”“Where did you come up with this brainstorm?” I asked.“Seamus, this is dumb, even for you!” added Riley.“I found on the web a formula for figuring out the perfect age of a mistress,” he said.“You found a formula? Why don’t you tell your mother? You know, the professor of mathematics?”He looked at his mother and said, “The guy takes his age and divides it by two, and then adds seven. I just turned fourteen, so if I divide by two, I get seven, and then add seven I get back to fourteen. Cool, huh!”“Uh, huh,” she said drily. She. ."and......" she said. "Well, I'm sucking my cock and just before I cum I wake up - it's pretty frustrating!!". "I bet" she replied, " you get yourself all horny and wake up with a boner - same as Paul and Susannah!"During the ensuing laughter I dodged any further awkward questions and went to get another bottle of wine. As I came back Nat and Paul were deep in conversation. "So can you then?" Paul said. "Eh?", "suck your own" Nat clarified. "Well, the weird thing is that after I've had a dream I'm absolutely convinced that I can, but you know.....". "No - you're going to have to spell it out" said Paul. "He can't" chirped in Nat giggling "we tried". I was a bit aprehensive about revealing more but Nat was looking so naughty I couldn't keep it in. "Every bloke has tried haven't they?" "And.....?" Nat again. "Well, if I limber up I can get the tip in and lick around my head". "No way, that's gross" said Paul seeming more interested than disgusted. "Have you ever cum in your own mouth?".
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