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A few girls were changing after the lunchtime hockey practice, and out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a couple in an advanced state of cunnilingus. One girl knelt on the floor, her head buried between the opened legs of her partner, whose head was thrown back in ecstasy.Miss Hoffman moved us on. "Now we'll go upstairs so I can show you our newly-refurbished sanatorium. It's going to be named the Vita Sackville-West Wing." This sapphic reference was lost on Felicity, who asked: "Father, what were those two girls doing?"Overhearing the question, Pixie Hoffmann came to my rescue. "Well you see, Felicity, the girl, sitting on the bench is only partially sighted. And the one kneeling on the floor was helping her to unlace her hockey boots."Upstairs, the door to the new sanatorium was ajar. Inside, a buxom young woman, naked to the waist, was being checked by an elderly matron, who wore a stethoscope around her neck. "We'd better not go in," cautioned Miss Hoffmann. "Matron is carrying. He indicated his plate. ‘Boringgggggg!!!’ he belched. ‘Yeah, I notice you didn’t have any problem finishing it, bub,’ I said as I picked up the plate. It was spotless. He could have licked it clean. Oh, gross, he probably did. I put it back in front of him and wiped my hand on my apron. ‘Losing interest,’ he said in the usual verb-less way that trolls expressed themselves. ‘Better get hotter quick.’ He started to push the plate back toward me, and I stopped it. That wasn’t likely to be successful, either. Never get into a shoving match with a troll. Too bad. I was already here. ‘I don’t think so, chum,’ I told him. ‘See, that’s how hot the sampler plate comes. If you want something hotter than that, you’re just gonna have to order one of our regular menu items and finish it.’ He was glaring at me now. ‘Not enough action,’ he challenged me. ‘Action, pal?’ I asked him. ‘You can’t handle any more action.’ That was my best Jack Nicholson from ‘A Few Good Men.’ Although come to think of.
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