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When that operation was done John could actually talk directly to mostmajor computer systems, digest what he would take in as food, as long asit was from Gerber's, and pre-process what had to come out. The reasonhe no longer needed all of those intestines was simply because heprocessed faster. Like a computer even.John's new computer link was tested and he begin talking specifically tothe one he'd come to know on his first space assignment. John did spendthose first hours changing her voice and the rest of the day amazed overhaving instant access to almost all of the data in almost all of theworld being managed, he mused, by a very pretty woman that called himprecious.John could also now take a breath and hold it for two hours, go to thebathroom without ever having to go to the bathroom and start eating realfood again, albeit baby food. Ironically, since it had been nearly fourweeks of nothing but tubes and IV's even baby food actually tasteddelicious.His first baby food was almost. Eventually, he looked up, took a deep breath, and asked Rumsfeld:“How many is a brazillon?”One day, Jesus said to his disciples: “The Kingdom of Heaven is like two x squared, plus five x, minus six.”Thomas was confused and asked Peter, “What does the teacher mean?”Peter replied, “Don’t worry - it’s just another one of his parabolas.”(This one’s a little more high-brow, and requires some basic knowledge of integral calculus)Isaac Newton and Gottfried Leibniz are in a pub.Isaac bemoans the lack of mathematical knowledge among the general public, but Gottfried is more optimistic.To prove his point, Gottfried waits until Isaac has to go to the privy, and calls the barmaid over. He explains to her that, when Isaac returns, Gottfried is going to ask her a question, and she is to simply reply, “One third x cubed”.“Wun thud ex whut?” she asks?Gottfried repeats, but more slowly this time “One ... third ... x ... cubed”. The barmaid seems to get it, more or less, and walks away muttering over.
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