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I am sorry for giving you so much trouble. I am just not able to process my thoughts properly.Karthik: I don’t know anyone, Mom. And I cannot ask anybody. It would be wrong. I mean you do know how this will finally turn out to be. Everybody will take it in a very bad way.Kavita: I know Karthik. I am sorry I even tried suggesting that you ask your friends or someone you know. It would be shameful, very shameful. They would only think you are pimping your own mother, or your mother is a woman with no morals.Karthik: I am sorry, Mom. But that is how it would be.My mom was upset. I had never seen her so unhappy, ever before. She clearly felt dejected, and also disgusted for what she tried asking her son to do. But, surprisingly, I saw her gloomy face suddenly brighten up.“How about Kushal? He is a sweet boy. He will understand when we tell him. And we can keep it within the family, too,” my disoriented mother said, with a rejuvenated sense of happiness. She was suggesting my elder cousin. I fear for whatpunishments she might think of seeing me touch my girly body this way.That same tingly feeling I had in my chest now moved down between mylegs. My pee pee is going away. These last few months I hardly noticedit. I just use it for going to the bathroom. It just dangles there. Ieven forgot how to pee standing up. I've done it more as girl now, thatas a boy, I sit down to pee. I guess other boys would miss their thingbeing gone, I still don't know what to think.I felt two painful throbs and jerks down in my balls. It feels like myballs are deflating. Whenever I turn into a girl my pee pe... I mean dickhurts as the muscles in it dissolve away. When I used to go to school,other kids there told me about the fun things you can do with your dick.They called it 'jacking off'. I've been a girl now more often than a boylately and I wonder if I can ever do it.As my boy genitals go away, I feel a strange, heavy puffiness down there.Girl parts feel weird. I guess it would feel that.
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