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Out of habit, an old, long-forgotten habit, she parked in that back lot, the one behind the dorms, and suddenly her memory was flooded with the smell of football players’ sweat assaulting her nostrils, cat-calls shouted from second floor windows by a thick man in nothing but a towel, his wet hair tousled and crazy after his shower. Surely she was too old to draw that kind of attention anymore, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t long for it. She opened her car door and immediately locked it again, an old habit that would never die. She clutched her red purse to her side, unsure. Should she put it over her shoulder or carry it on her arm? She never knew what to do with a purse, but she was sure it made her look somehow more legitimate, professional, grown-up, though she never felt any of those things, even on a good day. Maybe today was a good day. As soon as she’d closed the car door behind her, the cell phone she had clutched in her left hand bumped into her. ” She hides her face when she says this, Keegan squeezes her hand. She gathers herself. “He used to talk me into ‘playing’ with family dog. Wanking it off until it got hard, for a laugh. After a while he’d get me to do it when his friends were there, again, ‘just for a laugh’, ‘nothing serious’ ... Then one day he starts insisting that I suck the dog off infront of his friends ... And I was a bit drunk, and I didn’t want to let him down, and I suppose I liked the attention, so I did it. Within weeks he had me having full sex with the dog – sometimes with his mates there watching.”That must have been a terrible experience?“It should have been. The problem is, it wasn’t. Not at the time. I...” She pauses. Again, Keegan squeezes her hand. “I actually enjoyed it. It felt good, and I liked the attention, and it made that bastard happy. Problem was, he never let me forget that I said I enjoyed it. When I left him, it wasn’t because of the dog sex stuff, I just reached my limit for his.
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