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”“Have you ever…seen them?”“No. But I hear them sometimes. And they get into everything.”“How bad could it be if they’re just kids?”“Wait and see.”Laurie wanted to laugh, but Helen didn’t sound like she was joking. She’s really selling this, Laurie thought. Is she studying to be an actress? Because she’s really good.“Anyway, I just hung out to say hi,” Helen continued. “As soon as I finish this I’m heading out. Won’t be back until Monday.”“Oh,” said Laurie. She tried to hide her disappointment. She’d hoped they might be able to spend tonight getting to know each other. She guessed if the older girl was just going to move out anyway it didn’t matter, but still. “Where are you going, if you don’t mind my asking?”“Out of town. Tomorrow’s Halloween and there’s no way I’m staying here. Those little monsters are going to raise hell.” She paused. “I just thought I’d—”“Warn me, yeah, got it.”“I don’t know if you know anyone in the city, or…”“I do. In fact.” A lie, but what else was she going. As I perform my duties, you will understand that my nostrils must, perforce, rest deep in the Royal minge. That is unless Her Royal Highness is so fatigued as to wish to recline immediately on a divan, in which case she has requested me to adopt a position which I would have thought quite improper without her express instruction. On such occasions I am to clamber over the Royal torso, presenting my backside to the princess's visage. It seems to me most improper, but Her Highness has indicated to me that she finds that very impropriety most gratifying. And so it is that I regularly exchange the musky, ammonia scent of the Hirsutian Royal bush, for the yeasty cocktail that emanates from the Anus Mirabilis or Royal anus.At first I was very dainty in avoiding contact with the puckered rim of one of so high a rank, but on repeated occasions as I worked my tongue into the depths of the Royal slot, the princess has sighed and placed her hands firmly on the back of my head, demonstrating.
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