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"After dad found me I was a wreck. Jenny was inFlorida, but thankfully Katie was there. I couldn't even function. Ireally don't remember a lot about the first few hours. All I could dowas cry. I knew I couldn't talk with you because Dad was on thewarpath. Thank god Katie was there." I paused for a moment, nervous togo on. Debbs urged me to "I woke up at some point that night and wentfor a walk. It was really pretty that night. I don't know how I gotthere, but I was standing on the Washington Avenue Bridge, staring downat the river." I heard my mother gasp as I told the tale of my midnightstroll. "Mom I couldn't, wouldn't do anything like that. I could nevertake my own life. I did throw my student ID over the side, kind of asymbolic gesture saying Alex was dead." I reached for my mother's hand."I swear mom I could never do that. I was just hurting so bad. I feltlike I didn't have anyone at that moment. I went through the next dayin a cloud. I wound up at church. I was thirty-four years old, and married. But I wasn't able to give my wife a child, so she went to Spells R Us and bought something that she put in my food that made me link this, and now my wife is my mommy ." At this point, the kid burst out crying. This pulled off a miracle; it got a heartfelt response out of a Springer audience. "Don't cry, Suzie, we have your wife-turned-mother here with us today, and here she comes now." The music started up again, and out came Samantha, to sit over by her wailing child. "That's okay, sweetie, mama's here, shushhhh." Before long, Suzie was calmed down enough for Jerry to speak. "Okay, Samantha, for the sake of argument, let's say that magic is real, and this kid isn't nuts; why would you do this to your husband? If you wanted a kid, there is this stuff called Viagra." "Look, Jerry, she didn't tell the whole story. Not only was my husband useless in bed, he was cheating on me with three different women,.
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