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You can’t say how you would have reacted until you’refaced with it. After talking to Jaz a few times I knew Iwanted to try rape…but I guess the thing that seemedwrong was raping my mother. I figured maybe I would getsome little Frat-brat, sorority-slut stoned or drunk. I’dget her alone. Then I’d hold her down and rape her assgood. It made me hard just thinking about it. Until Italked to my mentor. “Dude, no way should you rape a stranger. Big mistake,it’s much more dangerous. It just is not smart. First yougotta get her drunk, then you gotta get her alone. Ipromise you someone is going to see you hitting on her,or see her leaving with you. Here is the worst part. Astranger is going to feel less shame, and more anger atyour violation. She is less likely to keep it a secret.Raping your mom or your sister is so much easier. You canget them alone anytime you want. You can slip somethingin their drink or food no problem. Best of all they willfeel. While she still gasped and heaved after her orgasm I held her and gave her a long, loving kiss. I was good to Martha, too. I didn't just please her with my mouth, I made love to her with it, watching Ronnie suck Martha's nipples while Martha enjoyed a stream of small, intense orgasms. I worked to make it good for her, building her up to a final, splendid climax that had her moaning, "My god, Steven!" and then gasping "Steven!" again before it was over.But my thoughts during that night with Martha and Ronnie went to prove, I suppose, that Anita still lurked in my head. Holding Martha as she felt asleep in my arms, I remembered every minute with Anita. I held Martha closer, stroking her hair, and the longer I held Martha and touched her, the less there was of Anita, until there was only Martha, and I slept peacefully.Tuesday afternoon as I was getting ready to meet Ronnie for lunch, the telephone rang. I picked up."Hello?"There was a pause. "Steven?" Yes." Anita." I know. I knew right.
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