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Its one of the things I struggle with most. Professional mental health people tell me over and over that it wasn’t my fault but I carry so much guilt for the times I would go to him and seduce my way into his attention. If you have ever have wondered about the mental anguish and pain regarding rape I can tell you from my own experience that I feel so much less guilt from the times in my life when a man would force himself on me, and hit me, and restrain me and force sex on my body. I do not struggle to call those times rape. What I struggle to believe no matter how many people tell me so is that it was also rape the times I went to him and the times, God these words are even hard to say, but that I wanted him, I wanted to do those naughty games we played. Guys have asked me a question that I still struggle with wanting to lie about and that is, “Did it feel good?” I am so full of shame that it did sometimes. I am so full of shame that many times I wanted to feel him touch me.. You writhe and moan helplessly under my oral assault on your body. YES! There it is! I grasp your hips tight as I send you into orbit, my tongue shows no mercy as you moan and your body convulses uncontrollably under me. At last you can’t bear anymore but the car hood works to my advantage. It’s slippery and gives you no traction… no way to escape. I hold you firm until you are on the verge of tears. By now you’ve been worked into a perspiring, exhausted, limp, hair tangled, and beautiful mess. You couldn’t walk now even if you tried. You open your eyes and my pants are around my ankles. I’m stroking those stiff 8 inches you’ve enjoyed so many, but never enough times. You’ve gotten me so hot that I’ve decided to fulfill your desire of watching me pleasure myself for you. Even though you can barely move you reach for me and touch me. You gaze in fascination as I bring myself to where I’ve just taken you over and over. You caress my balls with your finger tips and look up to see my.
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