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I was everything all at once. Yet I was nothing, I was standing in an empty room, dressed in my Habit, all alone, no one to hold me, to tell me how nice I felt, how good I was at sex. No one but God was watching me. Seeing me degrading my self, my vows, my Order. I knew the difference between masturbation and this lustful, gut drenching sexual hunger I had. Masturbation is something to help with the strain and stress and the natural sexual desires we all have once and a while. What I have is not normal; it is not the natural sexual desires. And for that I am ashamed. After I climax, I want to hide, to hang my head in shame. I vowed to never have sex. Yet, I long for the feel of it, I long for the moment I will ever experience what it will be to have sex with a man.Hear that? I guess I feel it is going to happen. Not that it is a fantasy, not that it is something that could possibly happen. No, I am talking as though I know it is going to happen. On top of that I am thinking like that. Ada told me me you are fifteen years younger than me. She told me you have thick cock - ten inches when erect. She told me you have an ass fetish? She told me you can get it up two times in one session. She told me you were amenable to having your cock sucked by a younger, pretty man, as long as there is a naked lady watching. She also told me you were a sex machine. Are all those true?’“Well yes, I must admit they are all true,” I smile wondering what she has in mind apart from straight sex, as she has her hand on my trousers feeling my flaccid cock. “Good, we are definitely on the same page. I am pleased you have an ass fetish, I want you to lick and kiss mine before you fuck me. You do realize I am completely naked under my coat,” she teases as she crosses her glorious long legs so the coat rides way up to show her creamy white thighs, with her hand on my trousers pressing my no longer flaccid cock.“Come up to my room in five minutes, no need to knock we will be ready for you,”.
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