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.. I opened the box upside down!”My neighbour. She’s single. She’s shapely. She’s beautiful and she lives right across the street.I can see her place from my kitchen window. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on the door. I opened the door, she looked at me and said “I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, dance, get drunk, and have sex tonight. Are you doing anything?” I quickly replied “Nope, I’m free!” “Great” she said. “Can you watch my dog?”I’m seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife ... but I’m pretty sure she’ll figure out I’m just after my money.A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar and approaches the counter. The bartender immediately notices the underage weasel. “Sir, you look extremely young. I can’t serve you even a single beer”. “Oh c’mon. You can’t just slide me one?” “Can’t and will not serve to anyone under age”. “Fine. Well what other things. He looked so cute, I couldn't bear to disturb him. It was moments like these that my guilt really ate at me. He was a good man and I did love him dearly. I pushed these thoughts from my mind and flipped off the light. Suddenly he stirred. "Marie? Honey, is that you?" he asked turning the chair to completely face me. "Yeah, hon, it's me. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I replied as I entered the room and approached him. "Oh don't worry about it. I was actually trying to wait up for you. You were so god damn sexy when you left, I knew I had to fuck you in that dress tonight." Why thank you. You know you're pretty sexy yourself." What do you say we get back to that baby making?" he growled and pulled me onto his lap.I could feel his meaty dick beneath the thin layer of his boxers. The sensation relit my arousal. I wrapped my hands around his shoulders and leaned in to the point we were almost kissing. "Oh yes please," I replied and ground against his groin.His hand, the second hand.
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