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She didn't want to see me hurt again, she said. I didn't say anything to Sis about seeing her. I was beginning to think I was mistaken.It took a long time for me to get over thinking I saw Mary. At night, my dreams would be filled with her face ... her new face ... the one I saw at the mall. I couldn't convince myself that it was anyone else but her. It must have been her. Why would I have reacted to just a flash moment of seeing her? I knew I was obsessing about her, but I couldn't seem to stop. She was haunting me. She was supposed to be dead and she was haunting me. Was I ever going to be able to get over this?I went to the mall every day off that I had, weekday or weekend. I went at noon because that is when I had seen her the first time. I began to think it might be that she came at other times. Or perhaps she didn't come very often at all. Maybe my seeing her was just a fluke, a once in a lifetime coincidence. I couldn't bring myself to accept that. I couldn't allow myself to. I thoughtto myself: "I really do look like a woman now." I thought about Sandi'scomment about a thong panty. I loved the way thong panties looked on women. Ithought to myself that my bottom would look great in a thong! Then I stopped.I wondered how this could have happened and thought about what Dr. Ho hadtold me. He said something about being able to change me into the person Iwanted to be. I never wanted to be a female before though. I decided to headout and had to find something to wear. I noticed Sandi had forgotten hertrack suit. I put it on and checked out how it fit me in the mirror. Ithought it looked even better on me than it did on Sandi. I headed off to seeDr. Ho.On my way to see Dr. Ho I had to walk through the shopping district andChinatown. I went past a store that sold ladies underwear and it made methink again of Sandi's comment about the thong panties. I thought to myself:"My bottom really would look spectacular in a thong!" I popped in and lookedaround. I had picked.
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