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Jake and I got up, and Kayla took my hand and led me over to sit on her right, on one of the curved benches under the table.We fixed up our plates, slathering catsup and mustard on burgers and dogs, refilling glasses, and grabbing handfuls of chips. When the dust settled, we sat back and started chowing down. I powered through a hamburger in about three bites. I was ferociously hungry, and hadn't really realized it until I started eating. Once the beast within was somewhat mollified, I slowed down, willing to actually take time to chew when I started in on my hot dog.I felt Kayla's fingers touching my thigh, so I held my hot dog in my right hand, and dropped my left hand below the table to hold hers. The dinner banter was light, mostly shop talk about the drug store, which I was content to listen to, without feeling the need to contribute. Kay pulled my hand over to her leg, and pressed my palm against the top of her warm thigh, holding it there.Putting down her glass of iced tea,. As she spent more and more time away, her mother's verbal attacks became more focused and intense when she was available to be abused. After a couple hours of it each night, the young girl would take refuge in drugs to purge her mind of the hate and pain. They enabled her to tune her mother out, and look forward to the coming morning when she would physically escape again. She was also beginning to use coke during the day when she could get it, trying to sustain her mental "up" feelings into more of her waking hours.The combination of her secret drug use that she hid from her new friends, and her mother's continued bombardment of her psyche, set within her a sense of unworthiness that she could not shake. Inside, she felt she did not deserve to be happy.In spite of all evidence to the contrary, she saw Bobby's resistance to her romantic advances as just another confirmation of that belief.When Barbara told Bobby about her engagement and pregnancy, she'd been stunned when he'd replied.
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